Sunday, April 26, 2009

The System (our play) - Scene 2

Hi Everyone

Today my friend Heather and I finished the first draft of our play. We did a 'reading' and we both thought it was better than we had expected sooo...I decided to test whether you like it or not. I am doing scene 2 because scene 1 is a poem which Heather will write - scene 2 is where the action starts. The play would be rated 'M' is it had a rating because of adult themes, nudity and course language. If you're offended by any of these things don't say I haven't warned you. It is based in the psychiatric ward. Happy Reading!

Scene 2 - The Smoking Area

Light comes on and Chrissie enters. She lights up her smoke from the 'cigarette lighter pole' and then sits down next to a dazed Will.

Chrissie: I wish they'd give my lighter back.
Will: You will not believe the day I've just had.
Chrissie: You were gone for a while...what did you get up to?
Will: It's David.
Chrissie: What? What happened?
Will: I don't believe it...he, he's dead.
Chrissie: That's not funny Will.
Will: I'm not joking, he's dead.
Chrissie: Dead...DEAD...Dead?
(Chrissie moves to the bench opposite Will and cries. Jude and Sara enter).
Sara (to Jude): You're going to hell Jude! There's no such thing as purgatory.
Jude: How do you know that? Are you God?
Sara: I'm more dangerous than God so you better watch out!
Jude: You can't touch me. I am God!
Sara: Whatever...What's up with her?
Will: She's upset.
Sara: Now what?
Will: David's dead.
Jude: Where is he? I'll bring him back to life.
Sara: He died before I could fuck him.

Chrissie cries louder.

Will: Haven't you got any feelings?
Sara: For him I do, not for her.
Jude: I think you're going to hell.
Sara: This is hell baby.
Jude: Where is he? I'll heal him.

The nurses Karen and Jen enter. Jen walks over to Chrissie, holds her and pats her back. Karen clears her throat loudly.

Karen: Let's have a bit of quiet please.
Chrissie (Between sobs): He's dead...he's dead.

Karen takes notes on her clipboard and Chrissie stops crying. Nicky runs in brandishing a note. He doesn't notice Chrissie's state.

Nicky: Flash for cash again. I've got $20 for smokes. David left me a note.
Karen: Give me that.

Chrissie grabs the note and reads aloud.

Chrissie: Here's your $20 back. Thanks mate. Goodbye.

Chrissie slumps back down with Jen.

Nicky: Do you girls want to make it a three some?

Chrissie slaps Nicky's face. Nicky walks off grinning. Dr Boloum enters holding a fancy black clipboard.

Chrissie (to Dr Boloum): What happened to David?
Dr Boloum: The circumstances aren't clear and I'm not free to comment at this stage.
Will: Oh for God's sake I saw the whole thing. He ran in front of a bus.
Jude: Why did he do a thing like that?
Will: He thought he saw his mother's murderer or something.

Karen claps her hands.

Karen: Jen, you look after Chrissie. The smoking area is now closed.

End of Scene 2

Please also remember to keep praying for my housing situation and the health of my beautiful cat Jessie.

God Bless you all



  1. Congratulation to your first draft of Scene 2. I heard your voice and I will pray for your housing situation and the health of your cat.

    God bless,

  2. Hi Amber. Sorry it's taken me so long to read this bit of your play. I read your email quickly and thought you had the whole play available to read so I made a note to read it in my holidays. Anyway - well done! Very convincing characters and realistic dialogue, which is hard to do. I bet it would make a great play.