Friday, July 2, 2010

2 Poems on the Same Subject


Hi Everyone
This week I've written two poems which both start with the same subject each stanza. Please let me know which is the best one. They are both called "Some beliefs on mine." Ok here it goes
Poem 1
An idea is
a car
rushing at speed
towards its destination.
Clouds are
the unwept tears
of Nature.
Dawn is like
Ayers Rock
glowing on angel's wings.
The heart is
a locked drawer
where I keep my secrets.
Frear is
the cramping of
the calf muscles
of style.
Fish live
in a water wonderland
made of rainbows.
Bitterness is
the mould on top
of our past hurts.
Only truth
can unshackle
the rocky burdens
of my prejudices.
Poem 2
An idea is
a dream
where you
never wake up.
Clouds are
the angels
who watch over the bush.
Dawn is a
chameleon
changing colours.
The heart is
a robber
stealing our
pure intentions
Fear is
the knifing
of the soul.
Fish live
in castles
made of pretty things.
Bitterness is
the newest challenge
to overcome.
Only truth
will set you free
from the bars
of disallusionment.
END
PS Tell me what you think.

10 comments:

  1. hey, these are great amber, i dont know if you were writing these in some set format, but it really made me think of an aborigonal style of poetry. also i dont know if that it the indigenous style of writing, but it made that impression on me.

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  2. Thanks Tracey for your encouragement. We were given the first word of each sentence.

    I don't think the original poet was Aboriginal but who knows.

    Amber

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  3. I like the second one the best. Can't say why, just seems to flow better. Great job on these Amber!

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  4. Amber, wonderful poems. The second one appeals to me especially. Thanks for sharing dear one.

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  5. "Fish live in a water wonderland made of rainbows", this is my new favourite little piece of poetry ill carry around. I love fish and fish tanks and snorkelling and this is just how it feels when I htink about them.

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  6. Thanks Kate. I'm glad the image spoke to you.

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  7. Nice work. Hope you're doing okay.

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  8. that is a very nice poem...very talented.

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