My worst fear is happening all over again. The voices are back.
I was totally fine in the morning but at lunch time they hit.
This is what they are saying - they start off with a list of all the bad, stupid etc things I did when I was a teacher, then they say 'you were a crap teacher and you are therefore a crap person and you deserve to die'. They end up telling me to kill myself.
I have been arguing with them all afternoon. I am saying to them that God has saved me and that therefore I deserve to live. And that I am retraining and won't be going near a classroom again. That all the stupid things I did have been forgiven by God Himself.
I am exhausted by all this arguing. I have been to the doctor and the counsellor. They both told me to go to hospital if I get worse.
I don't want to go to hospital! I have spent months building up a positive lifestyle and working hard at my studies. A break in hospital could ruin all that.
Please, please pray for me that these voices will go away.